Countdown

It is 4 weeks from today that our big adventure starts. I would be lying if I said I wasn't a little anxious and for a lot of different reasons. Here are a few and in no particular order.

1. I am leaving Cole alone with the house for 2 whole days. Now, Cole is 17 and a very capable, responsible person. He loves his dog and cat and is experienced in the "Mom ChoreChart" that we have for days when I am gone in the evening. He has even stayed alone in the house before over night and seemed to do fine and that included chickens in the regime which are no longer here due to predation. So, on paper, this seems a stupid thing to be worried about.
But, he is 17 and there is the distinct possibility that Matthew might be home. And 2 teen boys. Well, I am hopeful there will be no partying.

2. The most I have ever walked in a day is 8 miles. And that was 50 pounds ago and 5 years ago. Right now, I am doing about 3.5 miles a day. And that does leave me euphoric. But 4 miles vs. 13 miles back to back seems to me to be a totally different animal. Add that to markets bookending the walk and I may have bitten off way, way more than I can chew.

3. My knee is still bothering me. Not tons. And I am still doing the walk/jog thing at the gym almost daily. I am up to 1.5 minutes run, 1 min walk and doing 7 repetitions of this. But my knee still makes itself known and I am concerned that uphill or more likely the downhill which I have no way of preparing for is going to be a big problem.

4. The bathroom situation. I will leave that one alone in description.

5. General, stupid, unmitigated anxiety.

Now, I admit, I have definitely crossed the line with my worrying. Other wise women in my life say this is just the time I am in and while it will never go away, having young men on the cusp of adulthood just lends itself to worrying. My traditional 'this too will pass' does not seem to work with worry. It creeps into my prayer life like you would not believe and certainly into my conversation with Matthew and Cole. I also tend not to share my worry with Don who probably has just as much although different concerns about our children and our life in general. Maybe this is really what this trip is about -- learning to lean on one another for the great pull. All I know is that 4 weeks seems an awful little time to prepare my body and a very long time to wait to empty my mind of these problems.